The rest is still unwritten.

I haven't written in awhile. It's been an interesting month. I FINALLY have some decent news! No, I didn't get a job. But I am double vaccinated which means I will be traveling to Florida with my family for my sister's birthday in April. We celebrated her 30th birthday last year when literally EVERYTHING was shut down, so she really deserves this. It's been a hard year and we all need to go somewhere to relax and "attempt" to forget about everything going on (while still being safe of course!). I am a little nervous to be traveling during a pandemic. Traveling makes me nervous on a regular basis so it will definitely be interesting. Speaking last year, I can't believe we're almost a year into this pandemic. It's crazy to think about, but at least my whole family has the vaccine now which gives us some kind of hope. Job update: I did have an "interview" for an Ad Sales position at a TV network that I watch almost on a daily basis. I...

Well, it's a new year. We've made it to 2021. The year 2020 has been no less than a shit show. A pandemic started, my sister lost her job, I lost my job, two of my vacations were cancelled, and I'm pretty sure I went insane. When I look back, I can't even believe what a year it has been. The thing that hurt the most is that Broadway shut down - and is STILL shut down and not having that to make me happy has really hurt. It's even worse that no one knows when Broadway will return which is extremely annoying and sad.  I hate to be THAT person, but I do think that 2020 had some kind of silver lining. When the pandemic hit, my sister came back home and when she lost her job she moved here permanently. That allowed her to spend more time than she ever has with us and I don't know if that would happened had it not been for covid. (She also gave me the bed from her apartment so I can selfishly say I'm happy about that!) I also lost my job in an unexpected way. I ha...

  It's been about a month since I got fired from my job. How am I doing? I'm not really sure. I'm surviving like everyone else who is unemployed or struggling during this time. Luckily I ended up being eligible for unemployment money so that is one thing keeping me going. I still have a lot of PTSD but I keep avoiding calling for therapy. I know it's not a good thing and I keep telling myself to call or I will blow up and realize I need it when I get myself into an overly emotional situation for no reason. I've been down this road before but this time I actually don't want to work. YES, I said it. Maybe my dad was right. I've worked my ass off for a year and a half and I just left a horribly toxic work environment. Why would I want to jump into something else right away? I would rather do it after working through what actually happened and what I need to do to change going into my next job. When I think about what actually did  happen, I always wonder: ...

Yesterday, on Friday the 13th I was fired from my job. I wasn't doing well for awhile, but the day before I just exploded. I was having a decent day, which is how it usually starts. A customer called asking for an affidavit and being extremely pushy. I put her on hold, attempting to help her and was very overwhelmed. I cursed at her as I was hanging up. Shortly after, I called her back to sincerely apologize, which I NEVER DO. She didn't care, asked me my name, and I hung up again. My boss found out because the lady left a voicemail explaining the situation. I was going to call my boss to explain myself but ended up leaving for the day around 3pm because I felt uncomfortable. The next day, I logged on to my computer wondering what would happen. I thought if anything I would be written up. I was put on a call with my boss, her boss, and an HR person. They decided that because this happened multiple times (they said 3 but I only remember 2 incidences), I was being "unprofess...

This is a super belated "Birthday Weekend" recap post. I have to say, it went surprisingly well, which is a relief from past years. I had a well-deserved four-day weekend. Thursday the 17th was my actual birthday. I got a haircut (basically chopping all of my hair off aka 3 inches) and went to Panera for lunch. Later in the day, my family and I went out to dinner at a new restaurant in our town. I got a lot of awesome gifts (see pic below).  But the BEST GIFT OF ALL, was a Cameo from none other than my BFF & favorite actor, ANTHONY RAPP! I was almost crying and squeezed my mom's hand while watching it. I kind of "asked" for the Cameo, but I didn't think I would actually get one. And I actually know him from Twitter and we've met three times, so it didn't feel like a forced message. Friday was Rosh Hashanah and my aunt and cousin came over. Saturday was the Lawn Chair Cabaret Concert with Tina Scariano at Holmdel Theatre Company. It was cold as H...

  Here we are, we have made it to September. My birthday month. I always put a lot of pressure on myself because I know I've completed another year of my life and I use it to reflect. As we all know, I'm normally a frustrated, hot-headed person and this pandemic has taken it up a huge notch. I try to look at every day as a new opportunity to be better than I was the day before, but I just hate it all. I am annoyed at everything. My family, my job, the pandemic... it doesn't end. And instead of going through life like a normal person, I have to lose my mind all the time and start crying, screaming, and freaking out. My parents don't care. Their solution is to "get help" or "go on medication." I've tried the medication. It doesn't help, it only makes things worse. Taking Xanax is okay every once in awhile but it doesn't predict when I'm going to have another breakdown and just show up exactly when I need it. So my birthday.. I hate that...

     I'm back. I know it's been a long time but I really haven't been in the mood to write on this blog anymore. I have nothing interesting to say. I haven't gone to any shows or concerts, written any reviews, or interviewed any celebrities or Broadway stars. There has really been no reason to write anymore. But I feel like I should do it more often because it's a tough time right now and writing has always been something that makes me happy, even if it's to vent. Well, it's been one hell of a week as if these last 5 months weren't terrible enough. My sister lost her job at a company she's been at for 7 years. She was furloughed at first, but they told her this week that she would not be coming back, EVER. They laid off basically all of their employees, including all of her friends. It's just so sad. Every day you wake up hoping things will get better but they just seem to get worse. I always looked up to my sister. I wanted the cool job in NYC t...