To Write or Not To Write: That Is The Question


So, this was supposed to be the "BroadwayCon 2020 Recap Blog" but I only feel like focusing on the journalism panel, so I'll quickly recap the whole day then go into that.

I got there around 9:45, I rushed my ass 10 blocks and 2 avenues, and got my butt into a seat at the journalism panel called "Rewriting the Future of Arts Journalism" at 9:53 (it started at 10). I also went to the stage manager's panel afterward, took a lunch break, then waited an HOUR to go to the opening ceremony/first look. NOT WORTH IT, BTW. The opening ceremony was lame and anti-climactic and the only performances I liked at First Look were Jagged Little Pill and Mrs. Doubtfire. I ended up leaving BroadwayCon altogether around 4:15 during First Look and calling it a day because I was EXHAUSTED. (I only had a Friday Day Pass)



OK... now back to the journalism panel. I was excited for this one. But NERVOUS, VERY NERVOUS. I came into it wanting answers. The week before I felt defeated and wanted to give up on writing forever.... or at least for now. I figured going to the panel would give me some insight and maybe help me find my inspiration again. I have to say, the three panelists could not have been nicer. They were so intelligent, insightful, and I'd work with any of them in a heartbeat (if only that could really happen, LOL). I didn't really know who any of them were but they seemed very knowledgeable about the field. They basically talked about changes in arts journalism (and journalism as a whole) - less newspapers, more online/bloggers/podcasts, etc. It definitely wasn't the kind of conversation I was expecting, but I liked it a lot more than I thought I would. 

Towards the end they opened it up to a full Q&A with the audience. One girl mentioned how "bloggers" try to get free tickets to shows just because they have a theatre blog. This made me FED UP. My heart was beating and I was SHAKING LIKE CRAZY. I had to speak up! I raised my hand and they called on me. Shit. I said that I wrote for BroadwayWorld and I don't get paid, but I get free tickets to shows. Although I have another job, I consider myself a legitimate journalist and I work hard on the articles I write. I basically asked the panelists for advice on how to pursue arts journalism as a career. One of them said that I should be getting paid and that it's ridiculous that I don't. (No shit!) Another said to have coffee with editors and make connections. It still didn't really answer my question, but it did motivate me a little to keep trying. Another girl in the audience was in the same situation as I am and agreed with me, which felt good. Someone else who was there also anonymously tweeted about my question which was cool but also weird? I took one panelist's business card and I'm still not really sure what I'll do with it but I'll figure it out.

I have to say - I was fucking PROUD of myself for speaking at the panel. Five years ago, I went to a University of Hartford School of Communication Alumni Mixer and was too anxious and scared to talk to any of the alumni. I really have come a long way since then! I always say that maybe it's because I didn't really know what I wanted to do at the time, but now I do. I have become a lot more savage and HUNGRY for any kind of advice. I spoke in front of three professional journalists and about 30-40 people who I didn't even know. I'm slowly coming out of my shell!

I'm glad I'm taking a few months to relax and take a break from BroadwayWorld. I love it, but it felt like I had gone from 0-60 from the beginning to the point where I became angry and wanted to give it up. Today, I finally got that spark back that I had in the beginning. I scheduled my first review for 2020 in March for "Matilda: The Musical." I won't give up on writing, but I'll keep hustling at my job, working hard on my BroadwayWorld articles, and keeping my eyes open for any other opportunities that will move my career forward. Hopefully one day it will mean something to someone other than myself.


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