Dear Everyone

Dear Everyone,

Words can't explain how difficult the last sixth months have been for me.

While I'm grateful to be alive and healthy, being laid off from my most recent job at Dexerto in June has taken an emotional toll on me.

Even though it wasn't my fault, it's been the third time in a row that I've been fired/let go/laid off from a full-time job. In addition to that, I was also let go from another temp job in 2018 after only being there for a month.

I didn't expect this to hit me so hard, but it's more about the bigger picture than the actual situation.

For five years, I built a journalism career all on my own and worked my ass off to do it, not knowing where it would lead me. I interviewed Broadway stars, Bachelor stars, and wrote more reality TV articles than I can count.

Getting laid off from my job confirmed the not-so-harsh reality that a journalism career isn't stable. The constant plagiarism, quantity prioritizing quality, cutting employees, and the limiting/shutting down ideas by editors was not something I wanted (or was proud) to be a part of.

When I first became I journalist in 2019, I wrote whatever I wanted on my own terms. I was excited to get up every morning and pitch a new idea without it being constantly rejected.

Although I'm grateful for the many experiences that this part of my career has brought me such as interviewing people I admire, getting a press pass at BroadwayCon in 2022, and having one of my articles featured on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion, this industry has become completely shattered and isn't a desirable path for me anymore. I even stopped writing altogether because I haven't been motivated.

On top of constantly worrying what kind of career path I want to pursue, I also switched therapists in May, only for my new therapist (who I really liked) to leave once again as of two weeks ago.

My mental health has been completely shot, and I don't remember a time I've felt this low about life in general. The job market being the worst it's been and living at home at 32 without having many friends isn't helpful either.

And to add to that, my sister recently got married and my other sister is getting married in 2025, causing me to question my life choices every minute of every day. I look at other people and it seems like they're moving forward, while I've been stuck in the same rut for years.

I haven't been feeling really positive lately, but I can admit that 2024 had some great moments. I went to some amazing concerts for artists I really care about and truly enjoyed myself. I went on a trip to Charleston and had the best time. I got up in front of 180 people at my sister's wedding and made a speech, and next year, I'll do it again.

Now, it's almost 2025 - a new year. I know it will bring more good things, and I have to keep fighting the negative thoughts and feelings and take action in order to turn my life around. I hope to get a job that may not be perfect but doesn't make me miserable, make at least one a new friend, go on more adventures, and be appreciative of the people around me. I know that these feelings are temporary and won't last forever.

See you next year in 2025,

- Erica