One Man Down


It's been a week without my friend at work. I thought I'd be okay, and I am, but there are times when I miss him a lot. We'll text every once in awhile, but it's usually me making the effort which sucks. The week before he left, he kept asking me if he'd get a card or a party. Usually when some people have left our department we do a potluck for them where everyone brings food. It was kind of annoying to be honest. Like, if you hate this place so much why do you care about either of those things? I gave in, because I'm a good friend and gave the kid his damn potluck. Only a few people brought stuff in but it's better than nothing.

I feel like people don't talk about this issue... "work friends" leaving. I didn't think my friend was just a "work friend." He was someone I had known since I was 11 years old. We met in a summer enrichment art class and went to school together. We were close for a few years, he even came to my bat mitzvah and I went to his 8th grade graduation party. Then we had a LONG gap where we didn't speak because we had different friend groups but I always saw him around school. When we both worked at our job, we became close again and it was like old times. We only saw each other outside of work one time and on car rides to and from work. I feel like now that he doesn't work here anymore I'll have to be the first one to contact him to update him on what's going on and it bothers me. Maybe we were just "work friends" after all.

In the past, when someone has left my company (which unfortunately happens a lot), I would always say "Well that's their choice and their path. It's not my time to leave yet. There's still so much more to do here." But now I'm understanding why they left. I don't know if my friend influenced me, but I've been feeling so stuck here. There's no promotions, no way to move forward, no excitement. It's just a cold, boring place. Again, I should be lucky to have a job and insurance but sometimes it's not enough. I can't just sit there to rot and EXIST. It's not a way to live. To just settle and not fight for what you want. I haven't applied to a lot of jobs since I started this one, and I've only had one interview. But for some reason, I'm almost going on a year here and it feels like the right time. All of the jobs I've been applying to have been writing jobs because I decided that's what I wanted to do. Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of writing jobs available (also I'm extremely picky). They're all either part-time, freelance, or have to do with a topic I don't care about. I'm not giving up on writing completely because I do love it and I'm good at it, but for now I've been applying to theater marketing and advertising jobs. I figure as long as I do SOMETHING that has to do with Broadway that's all I care about, and if the writing comes along again I'll pursue it.

EDIT: I will be at BROADWAYCON 2020 this Friday so stay tuned for my next blog recapping the events of whole day!!! (I'll even try to get some videos/pics!!)

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