Four years out.

Four years ago, I graduated college. I can't believe it. In the amount of time I've been a post-grad, someone else has completed their entire college experience. It's weird. Even though graduations are a happy occasion, the whole day for me was just strange. I don't know if it was because I wanted to leave so badly, or because I had such an interesting, non-traditional college experience.

The main things I remember about that day were :

- having anxiety the whole time (OF COURSE)
- taking a picture with the other seniors in my co-ed service fraternity
- waiting in line to walk out to the ceremony
- sitting in the heat in a tent on a folding chair in between two girls I had met in two separate classes just a few months ago (because I had no other friends to sit with)
- walking across the stage when they called my name (which was a COMPLETE BLUR) and seeing my professors sitting in the front row
- my family members screaming my name in the corner of the gym
- eating refreshments and drinking water in a parking lot when it was all over
- the walk back to the parking lot to go home and everything falling off of my hat because I was too stupid to use a hot glue gun so this wouldn't happen
- going out to lunch with my family after the ceremony

I have to admit, I wanted to graduate. I was on a mission. I was done with college and wanted out. I didn't want to sit in class anymore or try to befriend people who were just going to vanish after it was all over. I wanted to go to New York to FINALLY start my career in entertainment because it felt like something I was hoping to do FOREVER. It didn't happen the way I expected. Even though I have no regrets about where I went to college or my experience in general, the only regret I have is focusing more on my classes and extracurricular activities instead of beginning my career path. I could've applied to more than 10 internships after my junior year of college but I didn't. I could've joined the Student Television Network earlier than my senior year of college but I didn't do that either. I didn't care at the time because I didn't know it would be so hard to start my career. It wasn't a priority for me. Did I expect 4 years of unpaid internships, temp jobs, retail, and unemployment to follow? Nope.

Since I graduated, every year after I look at the future graduates on Facebook and think to myself, "Oh shit, do they even KNOW what they're getting themselves into?" Post grad life sucks sometimes. In college, you're in a big bubble. You know when your classes are, you have a meal plan, your friends are always around, and you can pretty much do whatever you want. Once you leave that bubble, there is a lot of uncertainty and it's scary. You feel like you're floating on air and there's no one to guide you in any kind of direction. It's every man for themselves. Also, everyone is in a different boat after college. Some people graduate with a job lined up, whether they got it themselves or someone they know got it for them. Others end up like me. They struggle to find a job and are continuously applying but nothing sticks for a long time. Some end up with endless student loans and others have them paid off. In a way, it's not fair. And it stays that way until you get a job. Then, you finally get a job and realize you have to live in a cubicle for the rest of your life from 9-5, 5 days a week with no purpose except for the fact that you get paid and have an insurance plan. Until you finally get to the point where you have a job you love (or tolerate) you're just a worthless piece of shit with a degree (and a paycheck).

So to all future post grads, ENJOY COLLEGE while you're there. Because after it ends you'll have to soak up every minute of your life that you're not sitting at a desk wondering why you hustled for that degree in the first place.