The Twilight Zone

Author's Note: I know I haven't written in over a MONTH, I'm sorry! I've been trying to adjust to my new full-time job (WHICH MAKES ME TIRED ALL THE TIME) and coming off the high of writing my first review for my freelance gig. OH YEAH, I WROTE A REVIEW. PLEASE READ IT HERE. IT WAS IN THE "HOT STORIES" SECTION FOR A HOT SECOND! I'll be writing my second review next weekend!!! This next topic is really hard for me to write about. I haven't actually been able to talk about it in writing for a long time. So please respect the fact that I'm going to write about this very dark, still difficult thing that happened to me. I feel liberated to finally be able to talk about it now that I'm in a much better place.

In January 2018, my life was finally made when I was able to quit my retail job and move on to a full-time job in NYC as an Administrative Assistant for a healthcare communications company through a recruiter/temp agency. It was listed as a 9-month temp assignment until October (or so I thought...). I was SO nervous to start this job. I had anxiety for a week. I even had anxiety about quitting my retail job even though I hated it anyway. I worked in Union Square, which not only involved a bus ride an hour to and from NYC from where I live, but a 15-minute subway commute on top of that. It was brutal but somewhat worth it.

I was at the job for four weeks, and things seemed to be going well. It was a really nice office. Some offices in NYC are a literal shoebox, so I was lucky that this one wasn't. We had in-office happy hours every so often with free alcohol, free snacks every day, there wasn't much to complain about. I didn't LOVE the job, it was mostly busy work.. emails, phone calls, filing, uploading documents. But it wasn't terrible either. Earlier that week, I felt a random wave of depression over me. I didn't know why. Something felt really off with my emotions. At my job, the work was drying up A LOT. I would sit for hours on end with NOTHING TO DO which is very very rare.  I would look over and the other guy who had the SAME POSITION AS ME would be doing work but I wouldn't be doing anything. I asked the other event coordinators if they needed help and they would say no. All of the Temp Admins had a meeting that week with our manager. She made some bullshit speech about how things were supposed to be slow now because they had a lot of work for the admins to help out with when we were hired, and it meant we've accomplished a lot, so it wasn't a bad thing. After everything was ironed out, we would be assigned to certain event coordinators and things would be a lot more organized.

One Friday, I was having a GREAT DAY. The bus arrived to NYC at a decent time (which almost NEVER happens), I heard "Let It Go" on my way to the subway, I tried a new taco place for lunch, and I even met a friend in the office who was close to my age and asked me to help her out with her job. I didn't mind, because I was bored anyway. I hadn't really made any friends at this job because the other admin was a dick, and the event coordinators weren't that friendly. I was busy most of the day helping out my new friend and when I was finally done it was around 4:30. I planned to leave for the day at 5:00 because I had nothing else to do and didn't give a fuck at that point. I got a call, then a text, from the recruiter who had given me this job and immediately called her back wondering what was wrong. She said, "The company can't afford to pay you anymore to work here. They have nothing left for you to do. Today is your last day. Hand in your badge before you leave. WHAT????? I LITERALLY JUST STARTED THIS JOB. SHE SAID IT WAS A 9-MONTH TEMP ASSIGNMENT. I WAS CONFUSED. I told her that and she was being a bitch saying it was never in writing which is bullshit. I can go on and on about the phone call but I honestly don't remember what else she said because I was in such shock. It was my last day? Okay. I guess I'll have to just accept it.

I called my dad as soon as I got off the phone with the recruiter. I was SOBBING in the elevator lobby. Thank god no one walked in. "This is it. This is my last day. I'm confused. I just started. I was already unemployed, I'll NEVER get a job now, " I told him. He tried to console me and tell me it was gonna be okay but I wasn't having it. I marched to my desk, and STUPIDLY asked the other temp if it was his last day, it wasn't. OF FUCKING COURSE IT WASN'T. I still had tears in my eyes and I shoved everything in my bag that was mine, handed in my badge, and got the fuck out of there. I remember calling my mom on the way to the subway, crying again. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Between leaving the office and getting off the bus to go home, I must've cried 5+ times. I felt defeated. I didn't know where to go from there. After I had made sense of all this, I realized I was probably set up. Actually, I don't really know what happened and I don't know if I ever will. I made multiple attempts to try to figure it out but after a certain point it's time to move on.

Since then, I was unemployed for a little over a year, if you don't count 5 weeks of work at my camp job. I'm happy that this happened because I'm in a better place now and I have a full-time job where people appreciate me and don't throw me away like I'm garbage when they don't want to deal with me anymore. My advice for anyone who starts a new job is to make sure you're respected in the workplace and treated equally with other employees. Also, DO NOT EVER GO TO A RECRUITER OR TEMP AGENCY UNLESS YOU'RE SURE IT'S NOT SKETCHY. THEY WILL FUCK YOU OVER, AND USE YOU AS BAIT. AND IT'S NOT OKAY. You have to learn your worth and realize you have rights too!!!!